Premier League Nonsense

I've just had to mute Pedro Pinto as he goes through the sports bit on CNN. He gets well over the top with his pronunciation of some clubs, especially the latin and Italian clubs. But why? He just sounds daft.

Do you get German TV presenters talk about Naarf London or the Arsenal? Nope, never.

So why do these guys do it? Do they think it makes them sound so well cultured 'cos they can say Inter like an Italian or Marseille like a Frenchie?

When will they start pronouncing the names of Russian teams correctly? Or Thai teams? Or even Bangkok. In fact why Bangkok anyway when it's real name, and these guys are going for authenticity aren't they, is Krungthepmahanakorn etc etc.

But the biggest joke, where they make themselves look so bloody daft is when they call the German side Bayern Munich. If they wanna be consistent, and no they probably don't, it should be either Bavaria Munich or Bayern Munchen.

Just speak proper eh?

So like you know man. First it was Arsene Wenger and you know like how before the game against Chelsea he wasn't sure like about the grass at Wembley man. Then he like went and lost you know and since then he is more than sure the grass just ain't that top quality man.

Then Sir Alex goes and loses and he sings from the same songbook like. The grass man, it just ain't good. Of couse you know when he won the Carling Cup a weeks back he, like, wasn't too worried about the grass but then he won man.

It's like Wenger said a few years back. Everyone thinks their grass is better than everyone elses.

Has anybody seen Emmanuel Adebayor? The 25 year old Togolese went missing somewhere in the Wembley, North London area last Satdurday afternoon and has not been seen since. He was rumoured to have been with the Arsenal team who played Chelsea in the FA Cup semi final.

The tall striker of course is no stranger to going missing. Last season, with his employer's in the hunt for the Premier League and team mate Eduardo missing with an horrific injury, Adebayor didn't show up for other games, games that coincided with a fading title challenge.

He did however turn up in the close season with a vengence when he demanded a hefty pay rise or he would leave. He got his wish.

Now however, when it is time to show he is worth the big bucks, he does a runner again.

It was only a few weeks ago that the Arsenal were being written off by all and sundry. Wenger, so the percieved logic went, had failed to replace Aleksander Hleb and Matthieu Flamini and the club's place in the so called Big 4 had been usurped by Aston Villa.

It was bollocks then and it's bollocks now.

Hleb was one of the least effectual players in my Arsenal memory while Flamini had one consistent season in his spell at the club. But hey, who needs facts when there's a bandwagon to be jumped on.

Now of course there is a new bandwagon. Arsenal are in both the FA Cup and Champion's League semi finals and suddenly Wenger is a genius again.

Out come all the tired old cliches from tired old hacks without an original thing to say between them. Before we were crap if the likes of Henry, Pires or Vieria were missing. Now we have a new holy trinity of Cesc, Ade and Theo and when they are missing we are pants.

Let's look at some facts.

We lost to Fulham and that day we had Ade and Theo playing. Our next defeat was famously at home to Hull City when we had all three of our so called super stars playing.

Stoke City beat us at their place and lo and behold look who was playing for us then? Cesc and Ade while Theo came on as a second half sub!

We got thumped 3-0 at Manchester City and all three were missing from that game. As were Toure, Eboue, Gallas, Rosicky and Eduardo. Does that prove the argument? For the home defeat against Villa Theo played while Ade was sub.

On the other hand much of our current unbeaten run was put together with much of the trio missing. Indeed our 3-1 at WBA was achieved without Cesc, Theo and Ade while another much hyped VIP, Robin van Persie was a non playing sub.

Forget the hype, forget the bullshit being passed off as insightful analysis, nothing matters until an Arsenal captain gets his hands on a piece of silverware.

There is a reason why most footballers don't become coaches or managers. It's 'cos they're a few sarnies short of a picnic.

After years of being told what to do, what time to turn up, what to wear, they gradually lose any idea of independent thought or initiative. It's drummed out of them. Their universe shrinks to one where they are both the aplha and omega. They are the sun and the rest of us mere asteroids that orbit them at their whim.

Everything is seen in pounds and pence and the chances of spit roasting big breasted totty looking to sell their story to frantic red tops.

Take Emmanuel Petit. Former journeyman footballer, Arsene Wenger took him from nowhere and made him into a useful player for three years. After which the pony tailed plonker headed to Barcelona for a few shekels and a bigger salary.

He did sod all there before going to Chelsea for another decent wedge.

But he was never the same player after he left the Arsenal. Like many others before him and after him have found, the pay cheques may be weightier but the grass ain't always greener and the bench is still the bench whether you're in Barca or Real Madrid.

Some players play football to win things. Others to fatten their wallets.

What has Manu done since leaving the game? He has managed where? He has won what?

So why was his opinion deemed so newsworthy?

I have a visceral hatred of Luton Town. It all dates back to the 1980s when they had a whole string of daft ideas like membership schemes, plastic pitches, David Evans, 1988 and the shittiest ground in English football.

Check out this story for a pre Hillsborough tale of incompetent policing and the damage fences could do at football stadiums.

Needless to say I'm delighted they have gone out of the football league and will be playing non league next season. Like I was delighted they got docked 30 points before the season even began. Couldn't happen to a nicer club.

The mass media likes to treat its viewing or reading public as total mugs. Why else do they keep boring us rigid with the turgid twaddle emanating from Spain?

Barcelona wanna signing Cesc Fabregas...Real Madrid wanna sign Cristiano Ronaldo...

Every few months they repeat these boring old non storys and why? Just so they can say 'we told you so!'

Forget getting off their lazy lard arses and finding their own story, why not repeat the wishes of some slick Spanish senor they have never met and play his political game for him?

Alan Shearer to be appointed new manager of Newcastle United.