Premier League Nonsense

Inspired by something similar I read in the Independent I have drawn up my own top 10 songs or chants I have heard at games

From my school days

1 –
We hate Andy Pandy and we hate Bill and Ben
We hate Ken Dodd and his silly little men
We went down Playschool and smashed up the toys
‘cos we are the Grove School Boot Boys

From the North Bank, Highbury to Peter Shilton after he had been caught with his trousers down

2 –
If you all had Tina clap your hands
If you all had Tina clap your hands
If you all had Tina, all had Tina, all had Tina
Clap your hands

Tottenham innit

3 –
Cheer up Martin Jol
Oh what can it mean
To a fat Tottenham bastard
And a shit football team

4 –

I will survive

5 –
Is it a fire drill

From my Aussie days, directed at John Kosmina at a NSW State League game between Sutherland Shire Soccer Sharks and St George

6 –
If you shagged Kossie’s missus clap your hands
If you shagged Kossie’s missus clap your hands
If you shagged Kossie’s missus, If you shagged Kossie’s missus
Clap your hands

To which Kossie replied ‘yeah and I shagged your sister. Wanna swap?’


When Pele turned up at an NSL game between St George and Marconi. Zoran Ilic...what more can be said?

7 –
We all agree Ilic is better than Pele

8 –
You’ll never play for St George

9 –
You fill up my senses
Like a gallon of Magnet
Like a packet of Woodbines
Like a good pinch of snuff
Like a night out in Sheffield
Like a greasy chip butty
Like Sheffield United
Come fill me again....
Na Na Na Naa Naa Naaaaa, ooo!


Persija fans away from home singing You'll Never Walk Alone. In Indonesian!

10 –
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