Sunday, September 27, 2009
If footballers ran football we'd all be in the shit
Footballers aren't necessarily the brightest light on the christmas tree. Calling them a few sarnies short of a picnic or a 6 pack sort of a session has always been pretty common and they do seem to be getting thicker and thicker.
Listen to a footballer when they are asked to be a pundit and you realise not only that just 'cos they play the games and earn shit loads from doing so doesn't mean they understand the game. (Of course nor do many bloggers, forum posters and football writers!)
Footballers as pundits like to cover the cliches that come in the official professional footballer's association handbook. Somebody must always step up to the plate for example. It's always good to squeeze in an early doors, epsecially, um, early doors. And don't forget footballers always like to set out their stall. Even if better if they can do it early doors.
Keeping on with punditry, near;y everything that happens is either a defender's fault or a match official's fault. Preferably the latter 'cos players always remember the time they got caught showing their studs and be red carded by the ref who didn't fall for their bull shit.
Footballers love Monopoly. It's a game where money comes and goes very easily, much like in their lives. Things like rent and fines are minor irritants and mortgages are only experienced by plebs who can't afford to pay cash for a place to live.
And this approach they carry over to running a football club, a task that thankfully the vast majority will never get to do. Again the Monopoly mentality comes to the fore as the answer to every question is to throw cash at something. It ain't there cash, they don't have to use any of theirs and anyway it works for Real Madrid innit?
The look is also important. Players spend hours in front of the mirror practising that surly look where they look mean and moody down their noses at the rest of us. Shoulders pushed back, perhaps arms folded, players love this pose so much they even effect it when they're not getting paid.
Another important part of being a footballer is when they get off the team coach. It is vital at times like these they look like miserable gits, totally loathing what they do. The shell suit is necessary but the real piece de resistance is the massive bloody ear phones.
It's incredibly cool to walk past the paying spectator, possibly only seeking an autograph or picture, looking straight ahead and lost in a world of tinned music, they're saying fuck the world, you need me, we don't need you.
Luckily things are a little different here in south east Asia. I was at a hotel where the Persija players were staying last year and it was a common sight to see players being approached by hesitant guests asking for a picture and them always accepting.
The same thing happens on the pitch as well. I've seen it in Indonesia and Thailand, fans run on and get players to sign shirts etc. It's oneof the attractions of the game in this region, the bond between fans and players.
To give you an example Indonesian striker Bambang Pamungkas was strongly linked with a move during the pre season. After he signed for Persija he went on his website and gave a brief re cap and explanation of what had happened behind the headlines.
Imagine tarts like Adebayor doing that?
Listen to a footballer when they are asked to be a pundit and you realise not only that just 'cos they play the games and earn shit loads from doing so doesn't mean they understand the game. (Of course nor do many bloggers, forum posters and football writers!)
Footballers as pundits like to cover the cliches that come in the official professional footballer's association handbook. Somebody must always step up to the plate for example. It's always good to squeeze in an early doors, epsecially, um, early doors. And don't forget footballers always like to set out their stall. Even if better if they can do it early doors.
Keeping on with punditry, near;y everything that happens is either a defender's fault or a match official's fault. Preferably the latter 'cos players always remember the time they got caught showing their studs and be red carded by the ref who didn't fall for their bull shit.
Footballers love Monopoly. It's a game where money comes and goes very easily, much like in their lives. Things like rent and fines are minor irritants and mortgages are only experienced by plebs who can't afford to pay cash for a place to live.
And this approach they carry over to running a football club, a task that thankfully the vast majority will never get to do. Again the Monopoly mentality comes to the fore as the answer to every question is to throw cash at something. It ain't there cash, they don't have to use any of theirs and anyway it works for Real Madrid innit?
The look is also important. Players spend hours in front of the mirror practising that surly look where they look mean and moody down their noses at the rest of us. Shoulders pushed back, perhaps arms folded, players love this pose so much they even effect it when they're not getting paid.
Another important part of being a footballer is when they get off the team coach. It is vital at times like these they look like miserable gits, totally loathing what they do. The shell suit is necessary but the real piece de resistance is the massive bloody ear phones.
It's incredibly cool to walk past the paying spectator, possibly only seeking an autograph or picture, looking straight ahead and lost in a world of tinned music, they're saying fuck the world, you need me, we don't need you.
Luckily things are a little different here in south east Asia. I was at a hotel where the Persija players were staying last year and it was a common sight to see players being approached by hesitant guests asking for a picture and them always accepting.
The same thing happens on the pitch as well. I've seen it in Indonesia and Thailand, fans run on and get players to sign shirts etc. It's oneof the attractions of the game in this region, the bond between fans and players.
To give you an example Indonesian striker Bambang Pamungkas was strongly linked with a move during the pre season. After he signed for Persija he went on his website and gave a brief re cap and explanation of what had happened behind the headlines.
Imagine tarts like Adebayor doing that?
# posted by Me @ 2:02 PM 
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