Premier League Nonsense

It's been kinda fun seeing people react to the end of the Covid-19 ravaged 2019/20 season. Playing games in empty stadiums at obscure kick off times? I became immune to them in Indonesia and while I would have preferred to have gone to the games I wasn't going to spit no dummy. And don't get me started on the Football Without Fans Is Nothing nonsense.

But let's look forward to this weekend's FA Cup Final. I do feel for the decent bods who have taken to social media wailing on the net about missing their first Cup Final since, in some cases, the 1950s but for me this has become the norm since I left England in 1987. 

I thought I would be gone 12 months! George Graham had just taken over and I had seen us win our first ever trophy when we had beaten Liverpool 2-1 in the League Cup Final at Wembley and I was looking forward to returning to England after a year in Asia and Australia and carry on following the team I had grown up supporting home, away and in Europe. 

Sadly, I was gone a little longer than 12 months, try 360 give or take, along the way missing a good few finals so while fans are remembering their big days out watching us I'll try and remember where I was when the Arsenal were playing in a Final

1987/88 Luton Town v Arsenal - I was in Sydney. Crashed at my brother's place, we'd been out on the beer all day/night and I watched the game at his apartment as he struggled to get some zzzs before going to work. I spent most of the game screaming obscenties at the TV screen, we lost of course and I was thrown out soon after!

1992/93 Arsenal v Sheffield Wednesday League Cup Final - I was now living and working in the German Alps on the side of a mountain. I sneaked away from work to listen on a ropey old transistor radio I had found somewhere. I felt like 'Knowledge' with this thing stuck to my ear!

1992/93 Arsenal v Sheffield Wednesday FA Cup Final - Still in Germany, I don't remember the first game but for the replay I sneaked down to the deserted ball room in the disused hotel where I was staying and found a channel showing the game. Reception wasn't the best but good enough for me to be cursing the prospects of penalties. Then...Any Linighan! I screamed out of the windows to the snow covered mountains then thought not a good idea...avalanche alert!

1993/94 Arsenal v Parma - Had only been in Thailand a few months and had gone to Malaysia for my first visa run. It was only when I got off the train in Butterworth I realised I was not going to get back to Bangkok in time for the final so I scraped together my Ringgit and splashed out on a flight instead and watched the game in the silence of my apartment.

1994/95 Arsenal v Real Zaragoza - Still in Bangkok and nursing an expensive alcohol problem. Crawled back from some bar and sat in the lobby of my guest house watching the game with the caretaker on Thai TV before crawling off to work. Not a fun morning...

1997/98 Arsenal v Newcastle United - Still in Bangkok and headed down to Bobby's Arms in Patpong to watch this game. Not a bad place to celebrate a double!

1999/2000 Arsenal v Galatasaray - In Bangladesh now and no bars to watch the game for obvious reasons. Found a channel to watch it on, wished I hadn't bothered and didn't bother with the penalties.  I dunno, I just don't have the faith when it comes to 12 yards. The maid, whose name was Shatti, learnt some interesting vocab...

2000/01 Arsenal v Liverpool - Was still based in Bangladesh but flew to Bangkok for the weekend.  Spent all day on the ale but once the Mickeys scored I left the bar to find somewhere not showing football. I failed and when I returned to the bar a few weeks later I was presented with a pretty hefty outstanding bill.

2001/02 Arsenal v Chelsea - I was now back in Thailand and went to a bar to watch the game with a Chelsea supporting mate. Two cracking goals from Freddie and Ray Parlour and my pal won the sweepstake having guessed Arsenal would win 2-0! Happy days...

2002/03 Arsenal v Southampton - Another final, another country. I was now in Indonesia and watched this game in a bar just round the corner from my apartment. Looked like I was missing out on loads of fun in England but I wasn't ready, or able, to return home.

2004/05 Arsenal v Manchester United - Six months earlier I'd been told I was getting married but I had no job and no money. Somehow I found a job in Pakistan and so it was I was watching a cup final in yet another country. Surprised it took so long to send Reyes off, when it went to penalties I turned it off. A few minutes later and my fiance rang me cheering her head off...

2005/06 Arsenal v Barcelona - Back in Indonesia and a month away from my wedding. Sadly there was to be no gift from Paris and I still blame Almunia. I wasn't ready to blame Wenger...not yet.

2006/07 Arsenal v Chelsea League Cup Final - Wasn't shown live in Indonesia but I was starting to lose patience now with Wenger. I wasn't yet a fully fledged WOB but not far off it. A stronger team winning would have helped build a winning mentality especially among the young players but the message from Wenger was that this trophy was beneath him.

2010/11 Arsenal v Birmingham - My slide into WOBism had become irreversible after the Gallas hissy fit at St Andrew's in 2008 and I had by now all but lost interest in the club. We were going nowhere under Wenger and the winning touch in his early days which had relied so much on George Graham's back five, was long gone. Winning mentality was something that was often talked about, how many times did he tell us he was a winner who hated to lose, but the evidence told a different tale. We had gone from Seaman and Adams to Almunia and Koscielny and it hurt me to see them wearing the colours of the club I had loved for so long. Again, didn't watch this game, it wasn't live.

2013/14 Arsenal v Hull City - I was slowly climbing out of the tunnel of despair which supporting Arsenal had dragged me. I loathed the Unholy Trinity of Wenger/Gazidis/Kroenke but was starting to watch games again starting with friendlies in Malaysia and Indonesia and then, in 2012, my first games in England since 1997. We were beaten by Wigan on my first visit to the Emirates but for the first time in 15 years I knew what it meant to be a fan in the stadium. I had grown so used to switching off the TV after a game but now the performance stayed with me as I queued for the tube back to my hotel. It confirmed one thing I had allowed myself to forget...there is only one way to watch football and that is at the ground. Watching a game on TV you are stripped of the build up, the beer, the comeradie and the emotion of football which keeps fans coming back week in, week out. TV football is little more than a soap opera where you briefly wonder who X will shag next week before returning to your real life.

With my faith coming back I joined 3,500 Indonesian Arsenal fans to watch the Final just round the corner from where I lived. Not a good start and had Clichy not headed off the line I think it's fair to say Hull would have gone on to win the game.

2014/15 - Arsenal v Aston Villa - Honestly can't remember where I watched this game. I'm thinking Bintang may have played a role in my amnesia...

2016/17 Arsenal v Chelsea - Teamed up again with the Arsenal Supporters in Jakarta for this but no beer is my abiding memory...apart from Ramsey and Mertesacker!

2017/18 Arsenal v Manchester City - Now back in England and despite being offered a ticket for the game by the club, 200 quid if you please, I decided to pop down the pub and watch it. Wish I hadn't bothered...I can still see Mustafi being brushed aside...

2018/19 Arsenal v Chelsea UEFA Europa League Final - I had a ticket but more fool me I hadn't booked a flight back when tickets were cheaper and routes less complex. I should've booked early doors for about 500 quid and just enjoyed a few days in Baku, but I decided for some foolish reason, not to. 

2019/20 Arsenal v Chelsea - Welcome to my fucking world!